I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
