Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
