You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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