Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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