Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
