i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
