Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
