whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
