Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's never too late to be topless.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
