She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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