Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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