People in love make me want to vomit
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
