He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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