So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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