My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
