my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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