Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
