i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
