Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I supernannyed him into submission
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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