He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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