just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
