he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize