I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
