my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
