Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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