I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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