That's intense
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
