i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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