i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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