i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
