Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
