I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
