what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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