Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize