We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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