Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
