just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
