Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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