She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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