I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
