dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
