see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
