Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize