girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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