oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize