so explain again why im purple
no
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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