they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize