real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
