Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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