I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
