You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
