My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize