420 ftw
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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