and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Shame - the story of my life.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
