do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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