i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
