Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
