toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
