She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
