I'm passing your future prison.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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