Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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