if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
