Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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